recapping clash

Sorry it took me so long to pull something tangible about the Clash together. It's been hard to recover from last week. Maybe, I'm a baby, but I have never been so utterly exhausted. The conference drained me physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yet, this exhaustion led to the Lord meeting me in unbelievable ways.

1. God is in complete control of all things. He is trustworthy.

There is such freedom in that statement! Jeff Pursewell's last message really hit home. He encouraged us to leave with humility, wisdom, and faith. I was so impacted by his discussion on faith. We really can depend on the Lord for all things!! It isn't mine to save my campus, or make the right decisions, or work out knotty relationships. I can transfer those burdens onto the Lord. He will never cease to establish his sovereign purpose. He is the necessity; I am the contingent. It is so arrogant to assume that I am somehow determining the outcome of any situation. So often , I think that I can mess up or add to his plan. That is pure pride. No one can alter his purpose. I am in the hands of a loving, faithful God. Wow!! I understand why the Psalmist warns, "Fret not yourself; it tends ONLY to evil." My sinful anxiety is so disgusting in the sight of the Lord. It is me deciding not to trust. Anything I worry about is probably an idol. I am so grateful that the Lord used last week to reveal areas where I was resisting, not trusting. I am praying for strength to take each fretful thought captive for Christ.

2. The only real common ground I have with unbelievers is that deep down, they know God is real.

This truth alone reformatted the way I approached evangelism. When Nathan Sasser said that, I was like woah. So often, I share the gospel in a flattering way. I try to translate truth to fit the perimeters that a worldly mindset places around what I am saying. I don't have to do that. I don't have to find the back page of these people's hearts to communicate the gospel. I can just say it, because it will resonate, even if they aren't ever converted, it will resonate. Not because of anything I can do or say, but because God has revealed himself to all in some way (Romans 1:18-24.) His kingdom cannot be stopped by postmodernism, or apathy, or Islam, or rebellion. It is coming and every person knows that. God is our common ground.

3. A desire to study and memorize scripture.

I was humbled by the way Nathan and Jeff could answer questions directly with scripture on the spot. I wrote in my notes during one of the q&a sessions, "Scripture is dear and familiar ground to these men and it should be for me." It is true. They knew what they were talking about because they had invested, mediated, and delighted in God's Word. His word is the firmest foundation. It left me reevaluating my quiet times. Am I consistently reading? Meditating? Memorizing? I need to grow so much in this area. Pray that I will be more disciplined!!

4. Fear of man is idolatry.

The speakers' audacity for Christ's sake was humbling. When I cannot share the gospel because I desire someone to continue to think highly of me, I am denying the truth. I am so ashamed that I ever let other people's opinions stop me from speaking the truth. In Luke 9:26, Jesus says, " For whoever is ashamed of me and my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels." This is a frightening truth. I want to cast this sin off completely. It is amazing that God forgives my arrogance, that he would be kind to me after I have hesitated. He is such a gracious God!!

5. I am made perfect in Christ.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient in for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-1

I am inadequate, but he knows that and through him, I can do all he asks of me.

Overall

God reveled my lust for self-sufficiency. I want so much to be able to control my sin, my image, my work, my relationships and I make things so much harder by not trusting. I need God, I need him so desperately. He showed me that I need to bend my pride and lean on the one who will sustain me.

On the lighter side, here is a taste of what it felt like to experience the conference mentally. Enjoy!!